one of the main reasons I stopped drinking was because I was starting to disengage from stuff. not huge core-memory making stuff, although a few things did fall by the wayside, sure. but it was more incidental stuff. like the way the sun will hit just right in the afternoon. or that feel you get on a Friday arvo straight after work. y’know those tiny little things that just kinda make you realise you’re alive and the world is beautiful? I live for that shit. but drinking eventually dulls that for you. like a light slowly going dim over a long period of time. it’s bloody tricky, I tell you. it sucks out the life from whatever part of your brain loves that being-in-the-moment feeling. and you know the worst part? alcohol used to enhance that feeling, make it ten times better. what a tease. takes it away from you so gently you don’t even realise. then one day you’re like something’s missing. something about me is missing. thing is, towards the end of my drinking, I was aware of not being present. I tried – when intoxicated – to be present. never worked. I’d just be drunk and kinda thoughtless. mindfulness, or that appreciation-of-beauty bullshit was there, I could almost taste it. but I actually couldn’t. like I wasn’t allowed. then it drifted away. kinda felt like I was standing on a train station watching the train go and get smaller in the distance. and on that train was a very good friend I’d never see again. that’s what losing that feeling was like… yeah…
does that answer your question?
Jack Forbes is a writer and teacher based in Melbourne. An emerging poet, he has had work published in Australia and overseas, including in Third Street Review, Eunoia Review, AAWP’s Meniscus, The Suburban Review and Cordite. In 2025 he was highly commended in the Ada Cambridge Poetry Prize for ‘Pipemakers Park’. Forbes works as an English and engagement teacher at a designated-purpose school in Melbourne’s west. Born and raised in Laverton, he now lives in Seddon and is proud of his western-suburban roots. He is currently working on his debut poetry collection.