Shopping for Girls
(Tiggy Johnson)

Posted on July 12, 2010 by in Heightened Talk

It’s too late to get my daughter

newborn stilettos

a baby makeover

cotton crop bras in size 0

or a romper to claim her daddy just wanted a blowjob.

Perhaps next birthday she’ll get

Bratz dolls

six-pack of pretty g-strings

sequinned bikini

porn star t-shirt

or Playboy lip gloss: In the Mood.

In a couple of years maybe

a push-up tween bra

computer game where she can buy virtual breast implants

lacy corset

her first pair of dominatrix boots

or a kiddie magazine with the cover story I’m ready for my first time.

When she starts high school, there’ll be

tickets to see the Pussycat Dolls

gastric banding

Brazilian waxing

a t-shirt suggesting cats are powerful

or one saying It’s not rape if you yell surprise.

Once she turns sixteen

a pole-dancing kit

meal replacement shakes

voucher for Botox

her first Vajazzle

a weekend away with her boyfriend

or a boozy party playing Spin the Bottle.

When she first moves out

a plant for her hydroponic garden

set of satin sheets

lift to her first porno shoot

and a business card for a local shrink.

Then once she’s all grown up

I don’t think there’ll be anything left.

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