Shopping for Girls (Tiggy Johnson)

It’s too late to get my daughter

newborn stilettos
a baby makeover
cotton crop bras in size 0
or a romper to claim her daddy just wanted a blowjob.

Perhaps next birthday she’ll get

Bratz dolls
six-pack of pretty g-strings
sequinned bikini
porn star t-shirt
or Playboy lip gloss: In the Mood.

In a couple of years maybe

a push-up tween bra
computer game where she can buy virtual breast implants
lacy corset
her first pair of dominatrix boots
or a kiddie magazine with the cover story I’m ready for my first time.

When she starts high school, there’ll be

tickets to see the Pussycat Dolls
gastric banding
Brazilian waxing
a t-shirt suggesting cats are powerful
or one saying It’s not rape if you yell surprise.

Once she turns sixteen

a pole-dancing kit
meal replacement shakes
voucher for Botox
her first Vajazzle
a weekend away with her boyfriend
or a boozy party playing Spin the Bottle.

When she first moves out

a plant for her hydroponic garden
set of satin sheets
lift to her first porno shoot
and a business card for a local shrink.

Then once she’s all grown up

I don’t think there’ll be anything left.