Not the 3:30pm Nightly News! (Robin Reich)

There’s been a massive sell-off overnight in

hectopascals, with community

profit-takers acknowledging that the boys did

good.

 

The meanings of specific words have been reversed,

precipitating a quest for a cure

that mother Earth has hitherto

withheld on account of recently introduced

legislation.

 

Fear has been replaced by hope, and love for

others has been decriminalised, albeit

in a pure dream state, which

scientists acknowledge

as being the birth of

finance.

 

Someone has been described as a flat-track bully,

and at certain times of the day celestial events

conspire to produce word counts

that even the

losers

adore.

 

Now we cross to a dead still re-enactment

of a recently recorded moral,

long ago extinct, although

think-tanks and lobby

groups have vowed

to find the winning

formula after next week’s

bye.

 

In other news, our nation has been found

to be totally corrupt, unlike the peace

process that will end tomorrow

during the free sausage sizzle in Bazza’s

backyard.

 

Bubbles, bail-outs and bingo halls have

steadily declined; the subsequent

shortfall has seen Government

abandon plans shaped

as sugar

diets.

 

We have a live update from our society kingpin,

who declares that every aphorism has an

equal and opposite aphorism. Yes,

that’s right, the early bird

gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

Medical research suggests that shortcuts are

an allusion to extra-time, where low

pressure systems produce solid

performances through

education reforms.

 

Frightening world events have become less

frequent, as it’s been discovered that

starving children are to blame for

an increase in satisfaction

amongst consumers of

new information.

 

Obviously, remodelling is not required,

as we sign-off on another day, when

pirate dolphins have yet again

topped the registers of sensibility.

 


Robin Reich is a ghostly, white male who was born on Ngunnawal country in a hospital that’s been blown up. He grew up in Canberra and studied in Sydney. He has been taught by Allan Gould and Martin Harrison, and hopes to one day repay the Poet Gods for such blessings. He can be found on Twitter @TheRobinReich